The power of sharing our stories
This week, I’m attending a Women’s Salon Dinner event where the goal is to have meaningful conversations.
There is no agenda other than connection.
The founder of the group selects a question that the group will be asked to speak to, and she shares the question in advance to give attendees a chance to come prepared (which is extra helpful for the introverts in the group). The location rotates to people’s houses, and anyone is welcome to host. Everyone brings a food item or drink to share.
The last Women’s Salon event I attended in April was hosted at a beautiful older home on a tree lined street. The sun was setting. As I drove up to where my Google Maps took me, I squinted to see the addresses in the dim light.
I’m always slightly nervous going into rooms where I don’t know anyone, but I saw another woman in a dress grabbing a platter of food from her passenger seat, and I knew I was in the right place. She introduced herself and shared she’d been to these events before. I followed her into the home. Phew, I didn’t have to walk in alone.
I was greeted with a big hug from my friend who invited me to join that evening, along with lots of other friendly smiles—some loudly enthusiastic to make new connections and some slightly reserved and nervous. But all were welcoming, and I felt at ease being “new” to the room.
After filling my small plastic cup with some variety of white wine and filling my plate with pasta salad and charcuterie snacks, we all settled into the living room area where we circled around a small coffee table. Some of us were seated on the white couch, some seated on the floor, and some seated on chairs that were pulled in from the dining room. Some women spilled into the dining area behind the couch. In an age of over-the-top Instagramable dinner settings and balloon arches, the informality of the event struck me.
I liked it.
The host of the event welcomed everyone and re-shared the conversation prompt for the evening. Exactly how it was phrased escaped me, but to summarize it was something like: “Describe a memory from your childhood that shaped who you are today.”
And then she asked for a volunteer to start.
It didn’t take too long for my friend who invited me to offer to go first. We had known each other since we were 8 years-old, so the topic that evening being about childhood was particularly fitting. It was fun to revisit our childhood together.
Time flew by over the next 90 minutes while everyone took their time to share their stories and a piece of themselves with the mix friends and strangers.
We heard a story about my friend who sprung into action in a California earthquake, forever being designated by her family as the one who took charge after that, and I was reminded how much our family and their friendly teasing can define who we are-maybe in spite of it and in many ways because of it. In my family, I’m the one who is the “talker” never afraid to fill a quite space in the conversation. As an adult, I now balance between loving my ability to overshare and my hesitation of being too much.
We heard a story of a Meemaw in Georgia who showed her granddaughter what kindness and taking care of others looked like, making a lasting impression on a young heart. I had my Aunt Lizzy who I grew up with that opened my eyes to different perspectives and interests. There are so many adults and mentors in our lives that can shape who we are.
We heard a stories of siblings standing up for each other, friendships being born, and more.
I told the story about how in middle school, the popular boy decided to announce to our group of friends that my twin sister was “cooler” than me. And how even though that comment upset me deeply, it also created a spark and an ability early on to discern the friendships in life I want to put energy into and the friendships I don’t.
The evening ended with the last share and a thank you for attending and wrapped up quickly after that. Some lingered to chat and help clean up and some left right away.
I made a few connections following the event on social media, but for the most part the conversation and connection was left for that space. I liked that we weren’t exchanging business cards or LinkedIn QR codes. We were there to share stories. That’s it.
The evening was a beautiful reminder of humanity and how powerful sharing our stories can be. There’s so much we have in common and yet so much we can learn from each other when we share our stories. Even from people we’ve known all our lives.
We need more spaces that invite this kind of connection.
There is power in sharing our stories, and I can’t wait for what unfolds this week.
(The topic is “What is something you’d like to let go of?”—one of my favorites! What would you share?)
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About the author: Kelly (Underell) Stevens is an alignment coach and speaker dedicated to helping women leaders and entrepreneurs grow their impact and live life on their own terms by giving them the tools to choose less and show up for themselves. Learn more at www.kellystevens.co.